Just Smile Thoughtfully
by TheWhammy'sBoysAreACircus
Summary: --For Ashley.-- What I really wanted was someone who would look at me, say my name slowly and thoughtfully and smile in an understanding way. --Jacob/OC, post Breaking Dawn, Implied Character Death. And YES, Jacob means to say 'Arrow' instead of 'Aro'.--


Now don't get me wrong, I _did_ imprint on Renesemee. However, seeing as she was only a baby at the time, it seemed pretty pointless to be anything but a big brother to her. I tried to be her big brother to the best of my abilities.

No wolf has ever lost his imprint before without dying with her. It's crazy. Sam hurt Emily, sure that must have hurt him but at least she's still with him. Renesemee… I only truly have myself to blame for this. No one, not even Alice, expected the Volturi to come back after turning away to leave. The lead vampire, Arrow or something, he got her. He got me too, and I have the gash in my arm to show for that. Renesemee, though…

"Oi, Jake!" Shit. Fucking vampires can hit hard. I sat up, blinking blearily. It was the pixie. Alice smiled innocently at me, her hand resting on my foot. The pain was emanating from about mid-calf. She laughed. "Come on wolf-boy!" she said cheerfully, moving swiftly. I was half way across the room before I could clearly register that I was moving. Where the hell am I being taken to? Probably some vampire torture chamber. No, now that was a scary thought. My 'vampire torture chamber' turned out to be the garage. Alice looked at me with a solemn expression on her face, pressing something into my hands. "Use it well," she whispered as if she was signing her life over to me. With that, she was gone. Her scent still lingered, but only just.

The car keys in my hands jingled when I looked down at them. How… Annoying. I felt like I did when Bella was pregnant. Like I was scum of the earth and no one should look at me because of the things I've done. I stared at the keys for a moment before shifting them to my left hand, unlocking whichever car I was just given permission to. Oh mercy; the Guardian… So the vampires were hoping I'd come back. I didn't know whether to be pleased or disturbed. I don't quite remember walking to the car, getting in, starting it, or opening the garage door. I was aware of my surroundings next, however, when I found myself in the police station. That… was awkward.

I paused to think about it. Yes. I remember now. I got in the car and started it. Someone else must have opened it because I sure as hell didn't. And then I was tearing down the Cullens' drive, the trees blurring past as I drove on and on with no intention of stopping. I stopped, though. I pulled over for the cops. One drove the Guardian while I rode in the back with the other cop.

Now here I was, sitting in the police station, waiting for my dad or Carlisle or someone to come pick me up. God only knows who would come to get me. Whoever came would be one disappointed sucker. But at least they had the sense to give me a car or else I'd probably be shot by some crazed hunter in the woods. I honestly wouldn't put it past some freaks. They would be all ashamed of me, telling me how they thought I was better than this, this getting pulled over by the cops bull. Ha. The only person who could really affect me with their shame would be my dad and then him just barely. As his son, yes, I would feel ashamed because I couldn't live up to his expectations but even then Dad wouldn't emphasize on it. He might just look at me sadly and maybe shake his head. It wasn't that bad. Bella still looked at me like that sometimes. What I really wanted was someone who would look at me, say my name slowly and thoughtfully and smile in an understanding way. I'm sure if I emphasized on these feelings, Jasper would do so but he's a guy. I'd rather a female do that instead.

I'm not against gays or anything, I'm just… Not gay. It's that simple. That would explain why the girl running into the station slightly out of breath caught my attention. She was… I doubt I could imprint again but if I could, she definitely would have been my choice. Not that peoples' mental choices cause imprints. Whoever can give them the most powerful heirs are usually the ones that get imprinted. That's sort of creepy analyzing that. Anyway, the girl. She was gorgeous. Just the epitome of perfection. She glanced around, straightening her glasses slightly before fixing her shirt, walking up to the main desk.

Okay, so watching her wasn't exactly normal. It was probably kind of creepy but I couldn't help it. She was pretty –ridiculously so- and looked so out of place. Her confused face as she talked to the woman at the desk was adorable. The woman pointed at me and the girl turned to me. She smiled back at the woman and walked toward me. Oh, seriously. She had to be kidding. Why is fate so cruel? I blame Alice. Never trust a pixie. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever. I stared at her in complete shock for a moment before recovering.

"Can I help you?" I inquired. She tilted her head to the side, her hair cascading down her right arm.

"Jacob Black, right?" she asked. I nodded and stood. She took a step back, looking up at me curiously. "You're tall. I'm Ashley," she said with a smile on her lips. Turning away from me, she began walking toward the exit. I followed her swiftly; I wouldn't be left behind at all. Not in this dump. Not when she's my only means of escape from here. She tossed something over her shoulder and I caught the keys to the Guardian. I turned them over in my hands a couple of times, unlocking the car as I went. She slid immediately into the passenger side and I moved nonchalantly and slowly to the driver's side.

She rolled down her window first thing when I started the car. I backed out of the parking space slowly, making sure to drive extra carefully incase a cop saw me and decided I was once again being a shitty driver. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ashley roll her eyes. So I almost got arrested and I'm supposed to be Crazy Cullen driver? Well, if I was a Crazy Cullen driver, I wouldn't have been in the station; an idiot would know that. I'm just Jacob, idiot werewolf that can't protect anyone for anything.

Like Renesemee. She was proof that I deserved to die, that I couldn't do anything right. I was given the responsibility to protect Bella from the vamps and now look, she was one herself. I was given the duty to love and care for Renesemee, I let Arrow kill her. I'm just an idiot werewolf.

My thoughts were interrupted with the oddest statement from the girl beside me. "I ran here, you know," she said. I paused and looked over at her before returning my eyes to the empty roads.

"Did you," I stated rather than questioned. She laughed.

"You don't believe me, do you Jacob?"

Thank God for red lights. I stopped at the light and looked over at Ashley, smirking at her. Of course I didn't believe her. She was from La Push, an idiot could tell, but only wolves could… Could… Shit. I stared at her intently, trying to figure out if she was a wolf like Leah or if I was 'tripping', as Emmett would say. She had turned away from me again, gazing out the open window. It should be a sin to be that pretty; I doubt even Renesemee would become as pretty as Ashley. Wait… What the hell am I thinking? I don't even know the girl! Nor did I know Nessie but… I swiped at my eyes and faced the road, gently pressing on the gas. The negative points of the Guardian are that you have to have super-ninja reflexes. As a wolf, yes I have them but they work best in wolf form, hence super-ninja reflexes as a wolf.

Neither of us spoke for a while as I drove slowly and carefully. Damn; I hate driving slow. That's a sure sign I should really not hang with the blood suckers. Oh well. I glanced at Ashley who was paying me no mind. Okay, I probably have some major B.O. but really, that's rude.

"I'm annoyed," she spoke. "You don't believe me."

"Hell yeah I don't," I answered immediately. "That's crap."

"Like the smell?" she answered, seemingly without thought.

Ouch. Bitch got me. I laughed as I turned on the dirt road leading to the Cullens' pad. That was good. I still don't believe her. That's why I'm not taking her back to La Push. I need the vamps to tell me if I'm going wacko or she's really a wolf. I don't know which option I liked best, wacko or wolf. I was about to find out, that much I knew. I didn't bother with the garage; screw that, that's for blood suckers. I'm a wolf; I go through the front door. I knocked once of the front door and swung it open, slouching in.

"Shit!" I heard someone yell from the living room. Dude, really. "Smells worse than normal dog smell!" Bite me. No, wait, never mind. I like my smell. I smell like nature. Nature is always good.

"It's probably because of Jacob's horrible case of body odor," Ashley announced, walking past me into the living room. I followed with a scowl firmly on my face. Rude people. If they don't like it, they can get out. I'm a wolf, I'm the dominant. Ashley looked completely at home sitting in a chair to the side of the door while the blood suckers looked at her warily.

Emmett looked to me before his eyes flickered back to Ashley. The other males in the room copied him while Esme, Bella, and Blondie focused on the pixie. Alice was looking at Ashley, her brows furrowed. "You brought another mutt into the house, Black?" Rosalie snapped, her nose wrinkling. Yes, apparently. Thank you for settling my inner turmoil for me. With a roll of my eyes I gave a half-shrug, scratching my chest through my shirt. I hate shirts. Edward shot me a look that warned of pain if I took my shirt off.

"So," the annoying mind reader said, shooting me a nasty glare, "who's your friend?" I looked from him to Ashley a few times. Well, he's a mind reader, he should know. What a dumb ass blood sucker. Again with the look! What did I do? Ashley rolled her eyes.

"Look," she said, clearly intending to get this over with, "what does it matter who I am? I'm me, okay?" I chuckled at that. She smiled and brushed her hair back, adjusting her glasses. "I'm a werewolf. Surprise, surprise. Like you've never seen a werewolf that's a chica before or something." I snorted and turned away, walking to the couch. I plopped down on it, scratching my arm, wincing as I got into the bastard gash on my arm. Damn Arrow. And Nessie… Shit, not again. I swiped at my eyes, finding myself unsuccessful. Shit, shit, SHIT! Not in front of the leeches. It's not… Ahhh… I hate life. I slung my arm over my eyes. I wouldn't have to look at them to see their faces of pity or disgust or sorrow. I knew they were there as soon as they knew I was crying. Jesus, crying totally blows. Especially when it's been _long enough_. No one gets it though. No one understands. They can't cry. They can't do anything. Except maybe Jasper, but he's a guy and I'm not gay. I reiterate this thought once more.

I didn't jump when I felt a hand in my hair. I didn't care who it was. I just… Wanted to die, in that moment. Because of my Renesemee. Soft hands carded through my hair.

"Jacob, look at me," she said. She… She… Oh lord. "Jacob. Look at me." It was hard. I would see their looks of disapproval and disgust or pity and sorrow. She waited patiently. For however long it took me, she waited. And when I could finally look at her, she looked down at me. "Jacob," she said, her voice slow and thoughtful. And she smiled, like she completely understood everything going through my mind.

Something in me let go and I hugged her and cried.

-&-&-

Shit mother of pearl. I tilted my head to the side and stared at my reflection and Emmett's reflection. This was terrifying.

"You're a moron," Emmett snapped, placing his icy cold hand on my shoulder. "Five minutes before you officially need to be down there. Getcher faggot ass down there. You're getting married!"I turned to face him seriously. He'd gotten married before but to the same woman more times than was fair.

"Easy for you to say, Leech," I answered, walking to the door despite the fact. I glanced back at him and he gave me thumbs up. Time to face the music and go legally become Mr. and Mrs. Jacob and Ashley Black.


End file.
